I dont really understand why gay people need to make their whole sexualities and sex positions their personalities its pissing me off whether its irl or fictional, for example, i was talking abt my shitty experience with my ex gf to a dude and the first thing he said is "are giving or taking????" After his ass deep analysed shit, he said "you were a top, thats why" i was bewildered.
For fictional, its so stupid whenever their whole characters dumbed into "power bottom" by the readers but thinking back even the irl gays do that shit.
I feel like if you had more experiences you'd know most people aren't like this, but I know what you mean and it is so exhausting dealing with friends that are like this as well, I hate how hypersexual the gay community can be and this stigma around sex if ur not having it your weird and being assigned to a position which honestly devastating, I wouldn't say this is heavily homophobic since straight people like this r prolly worse icl
This is a really nice answer and what i actually need to hear rather than saying i have internalized homophobia or being homophobic myself. Thank you, im aware that i have my own shortcomings that generalized a whole group by the first pharagraph due to the fact that most of the gays i have encountered resolve themselves around positions. Like others said, i need more experiences and worded better to not make it look like a general statement.
This is a really nice answer and what i actually need to hear rather than saying i have internalized homophobia or being homophobic myself. Thank you, im aware that i have my own shortcomings that generalized a... rendang daging makan daging
definetly neither, I dont think people have much sex experience on this site so im not too sure they know what they are talking about since this has been an ongoing issue for so many years since dating apps and hookup culture became the norm hopefully you can find people you can surround yourself with that wont put you in a binary, it might be hard but keep pushing ^^
Kinda weird the person that posted the comment isnt straight and is being called homophobic. Maybe OP wasn't precise in the wording and made it seem like it was a complaint about all homosexuals, but there is indeed a subgroup in the LGBTQ that makes their sexuality their entire identity. There is also a subgroup of people (in general not just gay) that make sex their whole personality. I think it's a valid complaint. Basing your entire personality on any one single thing whatever it is always rubs me, personally, the wrong way. For instance, I always have a hard time with people that make their fandoms their whole persona (like Potterheads, and by that I don't just mean your average person that likes Harry Potter). Weebs (I mean real weebs, not just people that like anime) and hardcore bronies also make me cringe.
They gotta learn to write coherent sentences then Mustard123
That's fair and that's something that should be said. But when you read people's thoughts you shouldn't be eager to respond emotionally without trying to understand what it is they are saying. It's not really a conversation otherwise.
the way they wrote it is not great. they're quite literally generalizing, and that's bad, they should be able to write better sentences if that's what their intentions are, also a person CAN be homophobic while being gay themselves y'all, it's called internalized homophobia, and unless this OP is an actual child who don't understand social issues, they're 100% being homophobic and rude, and can be criticized for it
the way they wrote it is not great. they're quite literally generalizing, and that's bad, they should be able to write better sentences if that's what their intentions are, also a person CAN be homophobic while... laikhatakowowowowowow
In my experience, most people don't use precise wording when communicating. Would be more productive to ask for clarifications than jump the gun with the insults.
When I read what OP wrote I deduced that 1) they weren't talking about all gay people because it is implied they themselves are part of that community and made clear that they support that behavior (meaning not everyone is like that) and 2) they weren't talking about all fictional gay characters since they said "it's so stupid whenever..." the keyword being "whenever" which means when it happens. If it was about all gay characters they wouldn't have used "whenever". That's just how I interpreted what they wrote.
And I will say that in general insulting people when you think their thoughts are wrong does any good. If you think they're wrong, correct them or educate them. Calling names may end up pushing the receiver even further into their "incorrect" opinion. Why would anyone agree with angry comments/mobs going at them?
In my experience, most people don't use precise wording when communicating. Would be more productive to ask for clarifications than jump the gun with the insults.When I read what OP wrote I deduced that 1) they... SharkVice
In my experience, most people don't use precise wording when communicating. Would be more productive to ask for clarifications than jump the gun with the insults.When I read what OP wrote I deduced that 1) they... SharkVice
listen idk if you're a kid or what, but , implying that everyone upset by homophobic comments made is any less valid just bc YOU deduce that the specific comment isn't directed towards them and isn't actually harmful to them is a very selfish thing to do, just as they have a choice to say these things everyone else is valid for criticizing them too, regardless of how YOU feel OP's actual message is.
And I will say that in general insulting people when you think their thoughts are wrong does any good. If you think they're wrong, correct them or educate them. Calling names may end up pushing the receiver eve... SharkVice
comments and "mobs" aren't "going after" OP, they're expressing their thoughts and opinions. just as OP did themselves. while yes calling someone homophobic bc of their homophobic statements might not be so useful in correcting and educating them out of their homophobia, you can't blame people for reacting emotionally, imagine seeing someone yap homophobic remarks while being on a site where people are consuming said media. you're trying so hard to defend op and look at things from their perspective while completely abandoning the other side's perspective.
comments and "mobs" aren't "going after" OP, they're expressing their thoughts and opinions. just as OP did themselves. while yes calling someone homophobic bc of their homophobic statements might not be so use... laikhatakowowowowowow
I'm not saying my interpretation of what OP said is what everyone should've gotten out of it. I'm saying that 1) the wording wasn't very precise and 2) I think responding in anger is counterproductive in cases where the wording isn't precise. If someone angrily came up straight out and said "All gays suck" (assuming it wasn't a troll comment) then fuck it go for it.
listen idk if you're a kid or what, but , implying that everyone upset by homophobic comments made is any less valid just bc YOU deduce that the specific comment isn't directed towards them and isn't actually h... laikhatakowowowowowow
Hmm Im pretty sure I responded to this but I don't see my response anywhere. What I said was something along the lines of: shutting someone that's trying to get opinions on their honest thoughts down isn't productive for society. Once that's the norm then there is no reason to have any sort of meaningful discussion even on things that matter because someone can always claim whatever was said was harmful to them and just end it there.
Hmm Im pretty sure I responded to this but I don't see my response anywhere. What I said was something along the lines of: shutting someone that's trying to get opinions on their honest thoughts down isn't prod... SharkVice
so i need to ask, why don't you do the educating? so far, all you've done is criticize others for their honest responses. instead of actually criticizing OP or educating them. if you claim all these things "aren't productive for society" sure, go and educate them , why push your opinions onto others who are clearly more upset? is THAT productive?
I'm not saying my interpretation of what OP said is what everyone should've gotten out of it. I'm saying that 1) the wording wasn't very precise and 2) I think responding in anger is counterproductive in cases ... SharkVice
and here's the thing, YOU can't control what others feel out of a statement. and even though this statement from OP isn't "all gays suck" it is generalizing. i need you to understand you've been spending all these time typing and defending OP's statement but seems to only see the responses people have towards it as 'harmful' without trying to understand where they're coming from. dealing with homophobia sucks. it's tiring to explain the same thing over and over again. it's NORMAL for people to be upset. ik I'm coming across as so rude rn but I'm just really not getting why someone would go so far to protect bad statements, yes OP might be ignorant and have bad wording, and yes while that's a common and normal mistakes, it's definitely valid to have a sensitive response to it . if OP was really NOT trying to be homophobic and generalizing then both sides are valid .
so i need to ask, why don't you do the educating? so far, all you've done is criticize others for their honest responses. instead of actually criticizing OP or educating them. if you claim all these things "are... laikhatakowowowowowow
I pointed out that their wording wasn't precise but yeah I could've elaborated more on that end. That's fair. It is true that when anyone makes comments online, they should be really careful with their wording if they don't want to be misinterpreted. That also applies to real life. OP wasn't careful.
As to your complaint that I spent more time on you, you did respond to me so you should've expected me to respond back no? Wouldn't make much sense for me to make all my comments to A when it is B that I am talking to. There may be my own personal core values that pushed me more in this direction also. But ultimately, I was just responding to you. I think it was productive because you were receptive to having a conversation. You may not see it that way. But that's how I feel.
As to me pushing my opinions: it is true that I am pushing my opinions, just like you are pushing your own. When people communicate it is expected that their words represent their person. OP was pushing their opinion. Everyone else that responded to them was pushing their opinion. So I personally don't see the issue there. May have misinterpreted what you meant but that's what I understood.
and here's the thing, YOU can't control what others feel out of a statement. and even though this statement from OP isn't "all gays suck" it is generalizing. i need you to understand you've been spending all th... laikhatakowowowowowow
I don't think you're rude at all. I'm not really trying to control how you feel and that's not really possible anyway. I said I don't think it's productive. I never said your feelings werent valid or justified. I never asked you to shut up or retract your statements. I just told you how I felt. It's fine if your personal values put expressing your raw unfiltered emotions higher than I place them in my personal values. That's fair and that's fine and I would've understood that if you just said that. I never actually told you how you should think. I only ever told you what I believe. I didn't say you were wrong. I just didn't agree with the approach. And disagreeing with your approach doesn't necessarily mean that I was defending OP. Most of my responses to you werent even about OP but about general circumstances. My stance whether in this situation or any other situation is that when it comes to these sort of things that people may have different opinions and interpretations about (which applies to many thing), I just don't think it's productive to answer in anger. Me interpreting something differently than you doesn't mean that I think what you felt is wrong.
I don't think you're rude at all. I'm not really trying to control how you feel and that's not really possible anyway. I said I don't think it's productive. I never said your feelings werent valid or justified.... SharkVice
wow one thing happens to you and you generalize a whole group of people i was gonna say that's lowkey homophobic and that's kinda weird bc yk, you being homophobic while consuming LGBTQ media
How am i homophobic when i am myself a bisexual transman? Its just 1 experience out of my many experiences, yeah my complaints came out harsh to you but it is just a regular complaint
How am i homophobic when i am myself a bisexual transman? Its just 1 experience out of my many experiences, yeah my complaints came out harsh to you but it is just a regular complaint rendang daging makan daging
like i said , internalized homophobia is a thing. you don't know what that is ? google. educate yourself. also a 'regular complaint' shouldn't be generalizing. you having bad experiences with an lgbt person doesn't give you a pass to just make big statements. read the other replies to your statement.
??? Huuuhh, OK let's assume every gay person is same because of that one guy lmao?? How tf is that fair. And let's not even talk about characters being dumbed down to single sentences cuz straight people do that all the time lmfao "goth gf" "girl boss" "queen" "step on me" "daddy" "emo boy" literally go to a comment section of any fictional women or men that is conventionally attractive and you would be appalled to see what straight people are writing about them.
So you're saying that all gay people are like that because you've had one conversation that didn't make sense to you? That's kind of weird tbh
And when you talk about readers of yaoi and BL, you do realize that most readers are heterosexuals women right??? I'm not saying real people aren't sometimes like that, but you're absolutely delusional if you think that's somehow gay people's fault...
And to be honest heterosexual people do it too.... so... just don't spend time with those specific people. There are millions of idiots out there but that doesn't mean everyone is like that - gay or straight...
I think ur just hanging out with wrong type of people. Don't generalized us,just like straight people some are perv some are not. I'm gay and not everything about me is about sex.
I totally relate to this, like when they make being gay a personality. Like I wanna know them as a person, not just their sexual orientation. Everything, I mean everything is about sex to them. Wish I could converse with them like a normal person
Messages
Dude wrote one annoying experience and got army discussion level comments
I feel like if you had more experiences you'd know most people aren't like this, but I know what you mean and it is so exhausting dealing with friends that are like this as well, I hate how hypersexual the gay community can be and this stigma around sex if ur not having it your weird and being assigned to a position which honestly devastating, I wouldn't say this is heavily homophobic since straight people like this r prolly worse icl
This is a really nice answer and what i actually need to hear rather than saying i have internalized homophobia or being homophobic myself. Thank you, im aware that i have my own shortcomings that generalized a whole group by the first pharagraph due to the fact that most of the gays i have encountered resolve themselves around positions. Like others said, i need more experiences and worded better to not make it look like a general statement.
definetly neither, I dont think people have much sex experience on this site so im not too sure they know what they are talking about since this has been an ongoing issue for so many years since dating apps and hookup culture became the norm hopefully you can find people you can surround yourself with that wont put you in a binary, it might be hard but keep pushing ^^
Kinda weird the person that posted the comment isnt straight and is being called homophobic. Maybe OP wasn't precise in the wording and made it seem like it was a complaint about all homosexuals, but there is indeed a subgroup in the LGBTQ that makes their sexuality their entire identity. There is also a subgroup of people (in general not just gay) that make sex their whole personality. I think it's a valid complaint. Basing your entire personality on any one single thing whatever it is always rubs me, personally, the wrong way. For instance, I always have a hard time with people that make their fandoms their whole persona (like Potterheads, and by that I don't just mean your average person that likes Harry Potter). Weebs (I mean real weebs, not just people that like anime) and hardcore bronies also make me cringe.
They gotta learn to write coherent sentences then
That's fair and that's something that should be said. But when you read people's thoughts you shouldn't be eager to respond emotionally without trying to understand what it is they are saying. It's not really a conversation otherwise.
the way they wrote it is not great. they're quite literally generalizing, and that's bad, they should be able to write better sentences if that's what their intentions are, also a person CAN be homophobic while being gay themselves y'all, it's called internalized homophobia, and unless this OP is an actual child who don't understand social issues, they're 100% being homophobic and rude, and can be criticized for it
In my experience, most people don't use precise wording when communicating. Would be more productive to ask for clarifications than jump the gun with the insults.
When I read what OP wrote I deduced that 1) they weren't talking about all gay people because it is implied they themselves are part of that community and made clear that they support that behavior (meaning not everyone is like that) and 2) they weren't talking about all fictional gay characters since they said "it's so stupid whenever..." the keyword being "whenever" which means when it happens. If it was about all gay characters they wouldn't have used "whenever". That's just how I interpreted what they wrote.
And I will say that in general insulting people when you think their thoughts are wrong does any good. If you think they're wrong, correct them or educate them. Calling names may end up pushing the receiver even further into their "incorrect" opinion. Why would anyone agree with angry comments/mobs going at them?
dont* support that behavior
listen idk if you're a kid or what, but , implying that everyone upset by homophobic comments made is any less valid just bc YOU deduce that the specific comment isn't directed towards them and isn't actually harmful to them is a very selfish thing to do, just as they have a choice to say these things everyone else is valid for criticizing them too, regardless of how YOU feel OP's actual message is.
comments and "mobs" aren't "going after" OP, they're expressing their thoughts and opinions. just as OP did themselves. while yes calling someone homophobic bc of their homophobic statements might not be so useful in correcting and educating them out of their homophobia, you can't blame people for reacting emotionally, imagine seeing someone yap homophobic remarks while being on a site where people are consuming said media. you're trying so hard to defend op and look at things from their perspective while completely abandoning the other side's perspective.
I'm not saying my interpretation of what OP said is what everyone should've gotten out of it. I'm saying that 1) the wording wasn't very precise and 2) I think responding in anger is counterproductive in cases where the wording isn't precise. If someone angrily came up straight out and said "All gays suck" (assuming it wasn't a troll comment) then fuck it go for it.
Hmm Im pretty sure I responded to this but I don't see my response anywhere. What I said was something along the lines of: shutting someone that's trying to get opinions on their honest thoughts down isn't productive for society. Once that's the norm then there is no reason to have any sort of meaningful discussion even on things that matter because someone can always claim whatever was said was harmful to them and just end it there.
so i need to ask, why don't you do the educating? so far, all you've done is criticize others for their honest responses. instead of actually criticizing OP or educating them. if you claim all these things "aren't productive for society" sure, go and educate them , why push your opinions onto others who are clearly more upset? is THAT productive?
and here's the thing, YOU can't control what others feel out of a statement. and even though this statement from OP isn't "all gays suck" it is generalizing. i need you to understand you've been spending all these time typing and defending OP's statement but seems to only see the responses people have towards it as 'harmful' without trying to understand where they're coming from. dealing with homophobia sucks. it's tiring to explain the same thing over and over again. it's NORMAL for people to be upset. ik I'm coming across as so rude rn but I'm just really not getting why someone would go so far to protect bad statements, yes OP might be ignorant and have bad wording, and yes while that's a common and normal mistakes, it's definitely valid to have a sensitive response to it . if OP was really NOT trying to be homophobic and generalizing then both sides are valid .
I pointed out that their wording wasn't precise but yeah I could've elaborated more on that end. That's fair. It is true that when anyone makes comments online, they should be really careful with their wording if they don't want to be misinterpreted. That also applies to real life. OP wasn't careful.
As to your complaint that I spent more time on you, you did respond to me so you should've expected me to respond back no? Wouldn't make much sense for me to make all my comments to A when it is B that I am talking to. There may be my own personal core values that pushed me more in this direction also. But ultimately, I was just responding to you. I think it was productive because you were receptive to having a conversation. You may not see it that way. But that's how I feel.
As to me pushing my opinions: it is true that I am pushing my opinions, just like you are pushing your own. When people communicate it is expected that their words represent their person. OP was pushing their opinion. Everyone else that responded to them was pushing their opinion. So I personally don't see the issue there. May have misinterpreted what you meant but that's what I understood.
I don't think you're rude at all. I'm not really trying to control how you feel and that's not really possible anyway. I said I don't think it's productive. I never said your feelings werent valid or justified. I never asked you to shut up or retract your statements. I just told you how I felt. It's fine if your personal values put expressing your raw unfiltered emotions higher than I place them in my personal values. That's fair and that's fine and I would've understood that if you just said that. I never actually told you how you should think. I only ever told you what I believe. I didn't say you were wrong. I just didn't agree with the approach. And disagreeing with your approach doesn't necessarily mean that I was defending OP. Most of my responses to you werent even about OP but about general circumstances. My stance whether in this situation or any other situation is that when it comes to these sort of things that people may have different opinions and interpretations about (which applies to many thing), I just don't think it's productive to answer in anger. Me interpreting something differently than you doesn't mean that I think what you felt is wrong.
huh then that means tbh i have no qualms with you
cool. honestly, I like you (≧∀≦)
thanks i like you too, you brought up valid discussions
wow one thing happens to you and you generalize a whole group of people
i was gonna say that's lowkey homophobic and that's kinda weird bc yk, you being homophobic while consuming LGBTQ media
How am i homophobic when i am myself a bisexual transman? Its just 1 experience out of my many experiences, yeah my complaints came out harsh to you but it is just a regular complaint
like i said , internalized homophobia is a thing. you don't know what that is ? google. educate yourself. also a 'regular complaint' shouldn't be generalizing. you having bad experiences with an lgbt person doesn't give you a pass to just make big statements. read the other replies to your statement.
??? Huuuhh, OK let's assume every gay person is same because of that one guy lmao?? How tf is that fair. And let's not even talk about characters being dumbed down to single sentences cuz straight people do that all the time lmfao "goth gf" "girl boss" "queen" "step on me" "daddy" "emo boy" literally go to a comment section of any fictional women or men that is conventionally attractive and you would be appalled to see what straight people are writing about them.
So you're saying that all gay people are like that because you've had one conversation that didn't make sense to you? That's kind of weird tbh
And when you talk about readers of yaoi and BL, you do realize that most readers are heterosexuals women right??? I'm not saying real people aren't sometimes like that, but you're absolutely delusional if you think that's somehow gay people's fault...
And to be honest heterosexual people do it too.... so... just don't spend time with those specific people. There are millions of idiots out there but that doesn't mean everyone is like that - gay or straight...
I think ur just hanging out with wrong type of people. Don't generalized us,just like straight people some are perv some are not. I'm gay and not everything about me is about sex.
I totally relate to this, like when they make being gay a personality. Like I wanna know them as a person, not just their sexual orientation. Everything, I mean everything is about sex to them. Wish I could converse with them like a normal person
That's homophobic af but you do you ig
girl shut yo ass that’s fucking homophobic u fatass
....what?
Thank you. I will do me.
Um, OK, Semen.
I have no idea.