My toxic life

Always talking about how much I weigh when I look so skinny already and then used to talk about how thin I was and why can't I look like that again (when I had a eating disorder at 12 and still kinda do).i always was not good enough for my dad . I would really try and do the best I could at school but I always get distracted it was hard to focus some of the time so I would talk to people. Also if I did get like B's or almost 90% my Dad acted like I wasn't good enough and needed to try harder.
Also if my siblings and I laugh or speak our minds and what we know what's right we get hit or punched on the head or slapped. And sometimes at night I get suicidal thoughts. Ohh and if I come out as bisexual my mom and Dad won't accept me so I can't come out till I'm out of the house. But now I'm in a better place ohh I didn't die and I'm not out the house but I can tell you I will have long hard time left but I am trying self love and praying when I can so that I can be happy again srry I'm all over the place with this rant kind of thx for reading I feel better telling someone even if it's strangers ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~bye