I think I have a problem

Hello. I'm 20 yo girl. I love reading yaoi and manga in general. If I had to say how my day looks like, I'd say I'm quite boring and lazy. I'm unemployed, not studying, and I waste my time on the internet. I help my mom with laundry and dishes. And don't have financial problems at the time.
But I think I might have a problem.
Well, I do want to do art and go to an art collage, but everytime I'm about to make a portfolio, I got scared as hell.
Also, I think I lost interest in almost everything. I go to sleep with thinking "oh, I did nothing today too" and I don't know what to do.

In another aspect, I know there are many definitions for one's gender, but I can't say it on myself. I'm not a lesbian nor a bi nor a pan. And I'm not asexual either. My friend once asked me if I'm an asexual person, because I don't like sexual relationship, but to tell the truth, I think I just lost any interest in anything.

For example, today, I'm going to buy two books I love, but now that I think about it, it's just a waste of time...

So I've been thinking, if there's anyone who feels the same or going through the same thing, not because it will make me better, but because I wanna know what can I do. Cause I'm lost...

Sorry for taking your time and thanks for reading

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I think I have a problem [Answer]

Scout 02 10,2018

I felt the same way when I was 18-19. I didn't go to collage right after high school, didn't get a job and I spent all day either cleaning or reading. After a while everything else felt kind of pointless... Thankfully I had friends who forced me out of my house occasionally so I didn't completely fall apart. My advise is try to get an easy job if...... reply

02 10,2018

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I think I have a problem [Answer]

Jondot 02 10,2018

I was literally in the exact same position as you 5 years ago. Art school worries, reading endless amounts of manga, wasting lots of time and then beating myself up for not being productive. I even had the same thoughts about my sexuality eventually deciding I was aromantic asexual and putting that to the side. Honest advice: don’t go to school ...... reply

02 10,2018

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I think I have a problem [Answer]

Apolllo 02 10,2018

I have been there and I feel you. Life isn’t easy and it doesn’t have to be well-paced or rushed. Apathy is able to make everyday activities to feel like hell and leave you with no interest in anything whatsoever. It could be scary and take a lot of willpower to get out of that particular mental place, but it’s still possible. You’ve alre...... reply

02 10,2018

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I think I have a problem [Answer]

wowiemowi 09 10,2018

i relate a lot to this question. i read yaoi everyday... but i think i'm too young to actually read it. i think i know everything there is to know about yaoi manga and anime, more than anyone in my high school. is there one on here is a crazed young yaoi fan like me? let me know. reply

09 10,2018

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I think I have a problem [Answer]

Von 02 10,2018

Maybe is because you don't have a goal or dream from what I read? What do you expect to achieve by going to art school? Is is because you like "real" art or you just like drawing like anime/manga? (I know anime/manga is also art but i just didnt know how else to put it) Also, you are only 20 years old. I recommend you to look for a job or to go to...... reply

02 10,2018

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I think I have a problem [Answer]

Lalaluna 02 10,2018

Hello! I understand the feeling of disinterest for everything... i've been there too... It's look like your afraid to live your life... you're obviously bored with your current life.... So...Try to change your daily routine! (captain obvious) (TT_TT)/ I really love manga too, but try to not read manga for 1 month (for example). Go ou...... reply

02 10,2018

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I think I have a problem [Answer]

CathyBLover 02 10,2018

I've felt something similar. Sadly the only way to snap out of it was to force myself to do things instead of just reading manga and being on the computer. Getting out of my comfort zone u know? And planned my future a bit, got a part-time job and tried to spend some more time with my friends. Terrifying as all hell but it had to be done, I guess...... reply

02 10,2018

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I think I have a problem [Answer]

PandaRosie 02 10,2018

Hello again. I really appreciate your responses and advices. I guess the change that needs to be done is only in myself and by myself. I know I'm 20, but I've spent my last 2 years, right after highschool graduation, in military service. And when I think about it, it was a horrible period. I guess it has its effects.. But well, there are people ...... reply

02 10,2018

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I think I have a problem [Answer]

Lovena 03 10,2018

You might be depressed. Idk, I might be wrong . just look into it. Good luck. 2 reply

03 10,2018

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I think I have a problem [Answer]

zita3000 03 10,2018

Anhedonia is a symptom of depression. You may have gender dysphoria too. Do you have thoughts that there is nothing to live for or it would be better off if you're not here? If yes, your depression is serious and require professional help. In the meantime, identify short-term and long-term goals for yourself. Find a job- jobs surprisingly p...... 1 reply

03 10,2018

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I think I have a problem

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