Going to be 100% honest and brutal:
The story seems kinda cliche. It's just a revenge story, except guess what, the tyranical overlord is the one that you gotta get revenge on. This is reminding me a lot of cinder, minus the fairy-tale aspects. There's no mystery, we know who did it from the start. It seems like your average "teens doing things th...... 7 reply
I feel like the world could use a bit more fleshing out and the conflict needs revision. This isn't going to be an essay more like disjointed thoughts of things that didn't make sense to me. I'm pretty hammered right now so I'll probably delete this tomorrow morning.
World Building
So, did the people just buckle over when Melantha entered the thr...... 2 reply
I quite like the concept. I have always been interested in complex plots and settings, so this seems really cool. I really like how the story takes place around the year 4500. It's a whole new period in time. A whole different society. I'm curious to know how the different organisms live during that time. Also, the characters are interesting. For ...... reply
It seems really interesting!! I’m curious about Ren, she seems like a very mysterious character so I’m looking forward to how she is developed in the story :) 1 reply
I think Mina is best because mina is me i am lazy and sarcastic but protective of my friends bada
The story needs a some work but the characters are good and probably only need a few adjustments so it doesnt sound entirely cliche reply
