Not being able to express yourself

I have a major problem about talking/dealing with people, i can't even talk with my family sometimes because i think i'm being a constant nuisance and it kinda makes me feel like the worse human being alive, people always say i distance myself from others and how I don't try to make friendships/relationships last, it's like something blocks me from telling them (and even messaging them) how i feel and it piles up until I end up having a panic attack and it sucks so much.
I don't text anyone first, nor I call anyone first because i fear i would annoy my friends/family, i literally have a mental crisis everytime I'm sending someone a simple "hi" message.

Do any of y'all have a problem like this ? How do you cope?