I Need Help

Should I download the randonautica app?

i hate bananas. idk why. i think it may have something to do with the time when i was force fed a banana in school but i realised how much i really hate bananas today. when i smelt the scent of bananas, i lost my appetite instantly. what's even worse is that someone made a mess where little pieces of chewed banana were on the table counter. i was disgusted and my mood went down to 0%. when i thought about accidentally touching those little banana pieces i immediately gagged. i hate whoever left their banana in the open. i wish i could put that half-eaten banana in the bin but i don't care even wanna touch it. anyways, you can clearly see the problem. how do i stop being obsessive over this and get used to the smell of bananas?

Okay, so i need to know i'm not the only one who suffers from these. I'm brazillian, which means buying chapters and supporting the authors are some pretty expensive things to do, since the dollar is too expensive in Brazil. That's bad and i feel like i'm stealing from someone.
Besides that, whenever i finish reading a yaoi/ Bl i get that sense of guilt, because it seems to me that i'm fetishizing over gay men and, having contact with the community myself, i know how much gay men hate this.
However, i can't just stop myself. I love reading it and i really i have a great time while passing through new chapters. Am i a bad person since i just can't quit it?