Indigo's manga / #Antagonism/Vengeance(15)

I was reluctant to push the reading further because I thought that the plot is built around a very crude theme, with very crude words at some places (especially that this is neither ecchi nor hentai), however when I picked this title again, my first impression was proven wrong. The mangaka has done a very meaningful task by connecting the MC's sexual fetishism with other themes such as being an outcast, being unable to communicate with others, bullying, counter bullying, hatred, depression but also kindness, forgiveness and crossing the wall one has erected around oneself in order to face the world and the humming diversity of humans which distinguishes it. It was a good read actually.

This is the story which introduced me to the manga world. I probably re-read most of the chapters more than once. I thought that at some times, the plot was stuck in a loop endlessly repeating itself but I loved every part of it down to the last page. I wanted a spectacular ending and Rui to be happy (with Shizuka) but still this is a cult manga for me (perhaps it is one-of-a-kind manga because I doubt that there is or will be anything which is even remotely similar to it).

The romance in this one shot was "so-so", the shift in the male character's feelings was crude (illogical maybe). I have never been able to understand his logic behind bashing Terry, even if he were afraid of admitting he loved her but the things he told her were simply insensitive and cruel. This angle hasn't been addressed well in the manga. Isn't forgiving an insensitive playboy the same as projecting the image of a woman who lacks self-esteem? Of course I loved Terry but J.B. is a different matter. He is really uncool to say the least (jerk is the word that I had in mind).

It is not easy to get over a traumatized childhood especially when the cause of the trauma pertains to one's looks. It takes an extraordinary mindset to find one's way out of the shadows of the detested past and the lingering memories. The main lead is someone like that but I think that by hurting other men, she is also hurting herself especially in the case of the last guy she dated. It is like punishing herself and the others for not being loved as she really is. it is too bad that the story revolves only around agony and not salvation.