Juliet's manga / #suicide(9)

This was FREAKING GOOOD!!!! So Yoseob, ever since he was younger, had been living in a bad environment. Both his parents were abusive, his father was a drunkard that physically and mentally abused his wife and when he was done, she believed that Yoseob is the reason for all her pain and also mentally and physically abuse him. This happened almost every single day of his life at a young age. One day was the same, it was like a routine in Yoseob‘s eyes, but one day he realized one thing changed, his father who would usually beat his wife up (the wife spoke up for once) and everything started getting worse from there on out. The other days Yoseob‘s mom seemed that she had a plan to eliminate her husband while she was getting beat up, but she later realized that if she had killed him, she would be stuck with his kid (her kid too but she doesn’t see that), so instead of killing him, she took the scissors to her throat and stabbed herself. His father seemed unphased and and left the house. Yoseob on the other hand, couldn’t understand what was going on because of of the neglect and hatred towards him. He went up to his mom who still seemed alive and took the scissors out.. then she stopped moving. He went to the bathroom to wash the blood off his hands only to see his reflection in the mirror with his face covered in her blood. He seemed horrified at this point. Then next to him (a hallucination) was his reflection with splotches of blood all over his skin, that now sticks around him. His father wasn’t coming home for a few days, but randomly appearing and with booze as usual, but this time there was another bottle (pesticide) that he said was a special type of drink. They both committed suicide leaving Yoseob behind all by himself. He was taken to the hospital and his uncle became his guardian. Yoseob was so confused as to why this person was acting so kind to him and why his touch was so gentle. He wasn’t like the monster he saw once (mom). He met some ppl who said that they were gonna be family and this one kid, also had the same expression as his uncle, he couldn’t understand what that was. This weird feeling. Jaeha‘s mom married Yoseob’s uncle and they started living together. Jaeha was told to take care of his younger brother because he was weaker than other ppl, and that’s what he did, but the reason he took care of him was because half of it was for his own selfish reasons…Before all this happened Jaeha around a young age was cheerful and happy, but he was forever changed because of an incident. Before meeting Yoseob, his family wasn’t doing that great, his dad left him and his mom with debt and they had no where to go, one day, she called her best friend and told her everything. She had them move in with her, her older son and her youngest, Taeoh. At the time when they both met, they became inseparable. At school they would hang out with each other and friends and go home and be together. Taeoh’s oldest brother, Lee Taekyung, wasn’t much of a chatty type, it went so far, that even Taeoh thought his brother hated him because he would get upset all the time and wouldn’t talk to him. One night when he went to sleep, he woke up and didn’t find Jaeha, when he took a peek from the door, he saw him speaking with his big brother smiling while his head as being patted. Taeoh was filled with rage and jealousy at this point and when he asked Jaeha what they were talking about, he told him that he was supposed to keep it a secret. This made Taeoh flip, at school (no one knew they lived together, only that they were neighbors), Taeoh started to spread rumors about Jaeha and how he was leaching off of his family and about their debts and everything. Everyone started bullying him and hurting him. Every night Taeoh would hear Jaeha crying himself to sleep. He didn’t know it would’ve went this far. One night he saw Jaeha crying by his brother’s door and before Taeoh could go to him, Jaeha’s mom went up to him asking him what was wrong. Jaeha kept crying “when r we going home”. That made Taeoh sad. At this time Jaeha and his mom moved out and got married to Yoseob’s uncle… he met his new younger brother Yoseob and Jaeha cherished him and loved him. Because of his situation before, he went to the hospital frequently and this allowed Jaeha to overhear a convo about his parents and what is happening with him about his emotions. He can definitely feel emotions, but his problem was expressing and understanding it. This made Jaeha feel being his older brother, it was his duty to help him understand it and comfort him. Yoseob was the only thing that mattered to him now he was the only person he could trust that won’t turn against him just like the ppl in the past. Jaeha taught him that he liked him a lot and expressed how much he did and all he had to do was depend on him and put his trust in him. For a person not receiving any form of love before, thi was new to Yoseob. At times like these where Jaeha was affectionate towards him, the hallucination of him would disappear and he would feel at peace. There was a day tho, where his hallucination appeared back. It was the day where Jaeha bright a fish home and was spending his time taking care of it, leaving Yoseob as his second priority in his eyes. He couldn’t accept that, his hallucination reminded him of the time with his mother and how she died and in a twisted way said if u wanted him to like u, u would have to be the only thing in his view. He went to the fish tank, grabbed the fish which fell onto the ground and stabbed it with scissors. It was still flopping around when he pulled it out and he seemed at this point so paranoid as to why it wasn’t dying, he picked up the fish and stabbed it, but also ended up stabbing himself. At this point he got really annoyed and aggressively started stabbing it on the ground. Jaeha walked into the room and was horrified. Yoseob wanted to confirm what he really did would make Jaeha like him still even tho he liked the fish to confirm his definition of what this word love means. Because Jaeha didn’t want him to feel bad nor did he want to be hated by him, he ignored what happened and asked about his hand and how bad it was bleeding. This is where it took a turn, this is what Yoseob thought love was. Jaeha still went to the same school and for a while was taking Yoseob with him to school, everyone started questioning the rumors and started being more friendly towards Jaeha as if nothing happened. Taeoh at a point got annoyed and threw water on Jaeha, but all Jaeha cared about was if Yoseob got wet, Taeoh was very jealous of how close the were. This was the start of other unfortunate events. Jaeha was sick because of the water and had to skip school to go to the hospital. Yoseob was taken to the school til they were done. He took this as an opportunity to get closer to Jaeha. He stalked Taeoh at school and followed him to where he was going (setting off fireworks with his friebds at a park), he waited til he was alone and attacked him. He had a hot piece of wood from the fire abd tried to slash him with it leaving a cut to the face, he threatened that if he were to come near Jaeha again and talked to him, he would kill him. He never talked to him ever again. Moving onto highschool, he had an interest in a girl who was the first person to directly speak to him at school and he realized he now had a crush on her. As Yura realized his feeling towards her (he was very obvious) she thought it was funny and amusing (she was pretty, popular and all the boys liked her), but as time passed she realized he was different from the the guys and she started feeling something towards him. Yoseob didn’t like this at all. He sexually harassed her by kissing and confessing to her and threatened her to stay her distance from him. It worked for some time til the boyfriend she had (she was using him because of Jaeha) broke up with for finding out the reason she accepted his request to dating her. Ppl started spreading rumors about her dating everyone and even what were her best friends turned her back on her when this all happened) everyone was against her now. Her only friend that knew the real her (love-hate relationship) Taeoh. When she told him about everything and what happened between Yoseob and her, he freaked out because it reminded him of his past abd what happened, so he warned her without any context about what happened between him and Yoseob. She actually did ignore him leaving Jaeha thinking that she didn’t like him anymore. But one time in gym when she was left with cleaning duties, Jaeha went to her cause she saw how down she has been for weeks and comforted her. He technically confessed to her because she brought it up and he talked about his feeling and how much he cared for her. Yura was flustered ad they both started talking again (she ignored Yoseob’s threat). At the end of the school they bump into each other again and talk for a bit til Jaeha went to wait outside for Yoseob. Yoseob witnessed what happened and pushed Yura down the stairs and slashed half her face off. She was now being hospitalized. After a lot of courage Yura and Taeoh met up at the hospital so he can talk about what happened in the past. They both then decided to agree that Jaeha needed to know what happened. Taeoh brought Jaeha to Yura and they both told him what happened, he was shocked but only because he was t sure if they told anyone else. He knew that Yoseob was like that. He wanted to fix Yoseob on his own and didn’t want anyone to take him away from him. Both Yura and Taeoh got really mad and disappointed in that moment. Jaeha left the room shaking and almost fainting, but Taeoh was behind him so he caught him. They both say down by the stairs to talk about what happened to Yoseob and his past. He understood him more and the situation and told him that even tho ur gonna be away from Yoseob, he needs help desperately before things get worse. He went home and took care of him, but realized something was up with Yoseob and he was a faint different, he kept talking about a monster and his mom and how scared he was and asking Jason to hug him or cuddle. It even got worse to the point where he was hallucinating and thought Jaeha was his mother and was choking him or trying to kill him, but he would realize it was not his mom, but Jaeha. This happened constantly for nights. At school, Taeoh also talked to Jaeha about his friends and he should trust them more and not just stick around Yoseob all the time. He decided to give it a shot and told them everything that has happened to him and about Yoseob situation, he was ready for the hate and the end of his friendships, but his friends were way more understanding and nicer than he thought. This whole time, he was always afraid to open up to ppl, but with the help of Yoseob being his strength in the past, that’s how he managed to have these two friends, but before he never really hung out with them or taken care of them or even show a lot of interest in them before, but they always stuck by his side and because of him not hanging with them, they thought that he was had other issues as to why he was always busy with his brother and stuff. Jaeha felt so much better afterwards and told Taeoh about it on their trip to the hospital to see Yura again. They began talking more about the past and how why Taeoh acted the way he did back then. Jaeha told him about the secret that he kept from him because of Taekyung thinking that he already knew about the situation. He explained that back then, Taeoh’s mother and father got into huge fights and ended up divorcing. His mom used to take it out on him and got drunk practically everyday. When she received that call from Jaeha’s mom, things got better. Taekyung quoted it as if Jaeha’s mom was the vitamin for his mom. Taeoh didn’t find out about the divorce til later down. Taekyung was also taking his anger out on Taeoh after having to work around the clock and school. Instead of talking to him and explaining what happened, he just left and never spoke about it. Taeoh was in distress. He accidentally called his brother one day and they both met up and talked it out and clear out any misunderstandings and such.

Ending was a let down! I get that stories shouldn’t be the same, but they could’ve delivered the ending better than they did. It was way too rushed and I couldn’t fully feel the true impact of the situation that was happening, more specifically when he finally was able to know the reason why his brother committed suicide. He received the diary in the end, but from him reading it and us seeing what happened in the past, it fast forward to him already in the car leaving the school for good. Even though there was so much more that could’ve been done. I feel empty but not because of the story completely, but because I expected more out of the ending and was hoping for something better

THIS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM ANYTHING IVE READ SO FAR!!!! The boyfriend (Kiwoong) “commits suicide” and it’s up to Bae Eunsoo to figure out what happened. As soon as he dies, she gets a call from her boyfriend’s best friend (Seokhyun) about it, but she immediately continues her ballet practice as if nothing happened. What Bae truly cares about at this point in time is her performance and what people think about her. When she does finally go home (which was late in the night) she is greeted with police, her Kiwoong’s family and his best friend about this incident that has occurred. She doesn’t believe it herself until she sees the body. Later that night Kiwoong’s Ex girlfriend, Nam Eunsoo barges in Bae’s home in order to look for a box (which was filled with “letters” *it actually was a journal to Bae to tell her about everything*) Bae didn’t know they existed because Nam was supposed to give it to her according to the will given by Kiwoong to her. Anyways we find out Kiwoong’s suicide wasn’t what is seemed. It was a coverup for something treacherous. Long story short, Nam Eunsoo wants to be in control of every situation (wants to be the top dog) and Seokhyun is hiding the fact that he has always had a crush on his best friend (Kiwoong), but because of how taboo Gay relationships are, he never confessed, so he decided to watch them through a camera that he installed in there house (he’s the landlord of the apartment btw, so he was in very close proximity). Both Nam Eunsoo and Seokhyun were twisted in their own way. Bae Eunsoo got pulled in the situation because of Kiwoong’s death. Anyways the story was wonderfully put together, but also tedious to finish. It seemed like me and others had a hard time finishing this story, not because it wasn’t good, because the beginning wasn’t as attention grabbing in order to keep us there (but we were curious, so we continued the struggle and finished it), when you reach to the nearing end, it gets incredibly interesting. Anyways at the end because of Nam Eunsoo’s power, she was able to put the blame of his death on Bae becauseeeee….. firstly forgot to mention Bae Eunsoo’s fault. She was one that was materialistic, selfish and wanted the world to look at her. She wanted to be important. This causes her to neglect Kiwoong at times because she focused herself on ballet more than him. Kiwoong also spoils her very much, which she enjoys cause she wants everyone to see how better off and lucky she is with all her expensive gifts and all that. This is the explanation of her personality and what she did as soon as she heard about his death. Later in the manga, it got more and a more difficult for her to accept it and because Nam Eunsoo is the one who started it, (sent her a gift as “Song” *his nickname*, when he was dead). This was her way of “taking care of Bae Eunsoo. Anyways knowing everyone’s personality, Kiwoong hunt himself right in front where the hidden cameras Seokhyun put one (therefore Seokhyun witnessed what happened). One thing led to another with everyone trying to cover the truth and making some elaborate plan to blame it on each other. In the end she managed to confess everything to one person who was looking out for her in the ballet industry (he also had a crush on her), Damon. So after hearing she faked that her boyfriend was still alive, receiving gifts from Nam Eunsoo as of it were “Song” and Seokhyun spying on them all the time. It was a surprise that Damon didn’t leave Bae (I guess love really does make you do stupid things), but ya. At the end, it was lovely, but I believe Bae didn’t truly deserve that wonderful ending. Tbh she did get kicked out of the ballet industry, so I guess it’s ok.

This was confusing but one of the comments made it easier to understand what I read. It was depressing and beautiful story. I wish they were more clear with the story tho. “Life flashed before his eyes”