Lost in the Cloud
UTD (read chapter 100). First kiss c16 (deep French kiss forced by seme to humiliate and get back at his stepmother), 2nd c91 (actual first real kiss with seme asking permission awww), 3rd c94 (in public at the movies sexy deep French kiss), etc. Almost kiss (c82 when seme tries to kiss uke again but uke rejects it). C06: Uke confronts seme angrily as seme is really making uke miserable by messing with uke by almost spilling the beans and threatening uke indirectly in front of uke’s object of affection / unrequited crush and grabs at seme and seme says it pisses him off that uke cut off seme from all the photos and that he’s more good looking than ukes crush. Anyways seme pretends to be innocent even though uke realises now that seme is a bully who likes messing with him and secretly is happy to find a “toy” to distract himself with. C13: We learn that before uke fell for crush (Chan-Il), he was actually quite mean to him and pushed him away a lot and said terrible things as uke is a loner. I’m surprised in a good way as I thought loner uke just generic BL fell in love you the bright fun-loving seme-type guy but it wasn’t like that at all. Uke kept Chanil at a distance and was truly mean saying like “I don’t care about what the fuck you think just stay the fuck away from me” or “stop trying to act like we’re friends” etc when the seme-type crush was so nice and sweet to him and genuinely trying to be his friend and get close to him. I didn’t think uke was rue mean type when were first introduced as he seemed like the pushover nice guy so seeing him be so randomly mean to his crush back then is a bit of a shock. Uke from c01 seemed like he didn’t want to worry his mom and all so seemed good-natured… C20: SEXY FIRST HINTS OF JEALOUS SEME! We don’t know why seme is into uke yet as he seems to hate him but he’s still interested in uke to do all he did so far like blackmail him, bully him, bring uke home (he’s never done with that with any of his friends) and kiss him forcefully and showing his true bad personality to uke when he’s hiding it from everyone else including his closest friends. And now SEME IS JEALOUS FOR THE FIRST TIME SHOWN AS HE RECALLS HOW MUCH UKE HATED BEING KISSED BY SEME GAGGING ANS CRYING DISGUSTED AND WONDERS IF UKE WOULD HAVE REACTED LIKE THAT WITH HIS CRUSH (seme’s friend Chan-Il) IMAGINING UKE BEING INTO THE KISS AND GIVES HIS FRIEND (uke’s crush) THE STINK EYE BOY IS SO JEALOUS!! He wonders what’s so good about uke’s crush (AKA seme’s friend Chan-Il) when he thinks he’s so much better. C23: I love that seme starts to yearn for uke when he follows uke with his eyes and sees uke smiling with others yet hating him. Uke has now started completely ignoring seme and it’s really getting to him. Seme is obsessed with uke in his own way. He’s ALWAYS thinking of uke and how uke hates him. C27-36: [FLASHBACK OF UKE’S HORRIBLE PAST] C27: Start of uke’s flashback as a kid when he first met his ex-best friend Choi Minwoo (who becomes a handsome pretty boy seme type with an under eye more (left)) when was 10 and they became inseparable (he’s the reason uke has a trauma) uke is like a completely different person. Whereas now he’s a nerd type who studies, likes photography (and is good at it) and a loner and outcast, he used to be super sporty, jock-type (seme-looking) and athletic. He became more delinquent and aggressive after his parents divorced and he starting fighting a lot with his mom (being a careless bad son or maybe just a regular rebellious teen) and falling in with a bad crowd at the end of middle school when his then best childhood friend Minwoo, got influenced by the older bad kids who smoked and all. C31: Flashback of the falling out between him and his ikemen seme-type then best childhood friend and neighbour Choi Minwoo back when they were 16 (end middle school in Korea?). They both got drunk on Minwoo’s dad’s alcohol and uke kissed him which is shocking because I thought his best friend would put the moves since he’s always been touchy feely one… But his best friend got grossed out and told him to fuck off… C33: CRUEL SCENE of best friend pretending to like the kiss to humiliate uke by blindfolding him and make him kiss this gross fat nerd and cruelly laughed at uke saying that’s what uke did to him… Damn… C34: FLASHBACK. MORE HORRID INTENSE DRAMA. Uke confronts his now ex-friend about the horrid thing he did and they end up in fist fight with the friend not being sorry and saying how it made him puke that uke thought his brotherly affection was taken for something else all these years and both crying the ex friend tells him he never wants to see his disgusting face again and better yet to go and fucking die... The next day, the rumours start with the ex friend telling the whole school that uke tried to kiss him while sleeping and uke’s becomes a nightmare… C35: RAPE. This ex friend is just PLAIN CRUEL. Even though he felt betrayed by uke’s noncon kiss hole he slept, he became the ringmaster of uke being billed daily at school and even encouraged his gang to rape uke while he stood by emotionless fully aware of what was happening… YOU ARE NOT HUMAN NO MATTER WHAT WHAT THE FUCK?!!! What kind of piece of shit is he that he egged on cruelty of that level… Not only to incite horrible bullying to someone you considered your brother but RAPE?!!! What the fuck????? C36: When uke’s mom was going to confront uke’s childhood friend’s family (they’re family friends), uke almost committed suicide threatening to jump off the building. The reason why uke was so hostile to his crush (not his childhood friend, the recent Orange haired guy in his photography club who uke took tons of pictures of), is because he reminded uke of his cruel ex-best friend. C47: I love how even MOB characters are noticing how weird seme is acting around uke, like an obsessed stalker haha. The character who’s uke’s “friend” monologued that seme was just standing behind uke as if waiting for uke to notice him with his intense eyes. HOT. C53: INSANE RHINOS STOMPING IN MY GUT AND ACHING THROBBING LOINS FROM THE GUT-WRENCHING CRAZY JEALOUSY OF SEME AND FIRST WHEN HE PANICS AND RUNS THE WHOLE SCHOOL DOWN LOOKING FOR UKE AND SEME’S FRIEND (CHANIL WHO UKE HAS A CRUSH ON) AFTER HE’S TOLD BY A MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY STUDIED THE WHOLE WEEKEND TOGETHER (seme freaks out thinking “together the whole weekend?!” AND WHEN SEME SEES THEM TOGETHER HIS INSANE YANDERE JEALOUSY JUMPS OUT SEEING UKE LAUGH AND SMILE AND THINKING MURDEROUSLY “WHY OF ALL PEOPLE DOES IT HAVE TO BE CHANIL?” WITH TICKING JAW AND HIS NAILS PAINFULLY SCRATCHING THE WALL!! HOTTTTTTT!!!! C57: Seme realises his friend Chanil (the one uke has a crush on) has a crush on a close female friend of his and tries to set them up so he will leave uke’s side. So cunning seme this will break uke’s heart though. C58: Uke’s object of unrequited love Chanil fell in love with a good friend of seme’s and seme set them up and now they’re going out and Chanil is in love and happy and this broke uke’s heart completely. C64: SUPER POSSESSIVE SEME. Already seme has admitted he was trying to isolate uke (implied to get him all to himself) but here he is blatantly territorial about uke as he possessively grabs him back when a friend was clingy to uke when they were both scared of a frog. C65: Seme’s extreme jealousy and possessiveness ended up hurting uke as seme himself didn’t understand why he was acting that way and when uke thought it’s because he gets on seme’s nerves as seme doesn’t want uke to get close to his friends, seme not understanding his own feelings yet says mean things that it’s true uke gets on his nerves lately (because he’s falling in love and doesn’t understand it yet so uke is ALWAYS on seme’s mind) and that he doesn’t want uke to be close to his friends (possessive seme). Meanwhile this scene dredges up the horrid past with his ex childhood best friend who said horribly cruel things to uke years back in their falling out. C66: MY GUT WRENCHED WITH BUTTERFLIES FLUTTERING IN MY BELLY FROM SEME PANICKING LIKE MAD WHEN UKE IGNORES HIM AND WITH SEME’S OBSESSION WITH UKE. OBSESSED SEME WAITING FOR UKE LIKE A STALKER OR WORRIED BOYFIE AT UKE’S STUDY CENTRE FOR HOURS. After seme hurt uke and said mean things out of jealousy he runs to uke’s places of study and even almost home (stalker seme) and texts and calls uke obsessively 23+ times like a psycho and when uke ignores him seme goes crazy again saying he went crazy as uke wasn’t answering his phone and loses his mind more when uke rightfully ignores him and realising that if this continues he will lose uke forever seme finally apologises and confesses that he got angry because he hated others being close to uke. Uke misunderstands thinking seme was scared uke would tells others about seme’s own secrets and forgives seme in his own way (seme has no idea what even uke’s talking about but is just happy uke isn’t angry with him anymore lol). SEME DOWN HORRENDOUS FOR UKE! C70: OMG MASTURBATING SEME IMPLIED!! C71: Uke has figured out that seme has feelings for him. C73-80: [FLASHBACK TRAUMATIC PAST CHILDHOOD SEME] 1ST AFTERMATH OF LOSING MOTHER (with father wishing his own son had died instead of his wife which child uke heard and saying being home is hell… wow…); 2) GRIEVING KID SEME HAVING LOST BOTH HIS MOTHER AND FATHER (because he rejected seme’s existence) AND WAS CRAVING THE LOVE OF PARENTAL FIGURES, BEING MOLESTED BY MALE TEACHER (c79 not shown but implied and kid seme was so traumatised he even peed his pants in class poor kid and his stepmother made him feel bad about it saying he embarrassed her instead of comforting him and he hit her and realised that the adults who had do much control over him could be overpowered) :( … From that day, seme became cold and knowing his father hated him the most, he vowed to make sure he was also never happy, just like what he did to seme as a kid. C80: This is how seme became the cold fake bastard uke knows him to be. The only one he treasured was his beloved Samoyed dog Cotton Candy who loves him for him and is terrified of what will hair if she dies and no one is left to love him. Flashback of why and how seme did what he did to uke. At first, he thought uke was just a stalker creep but then realised he was a lot like seme trapped in misery so that’s why he wanted uke to wallow in worse misery than him to feel better about his own pathetic hopeless life and give it some meaning but then became the fear of being left behind by uke, that uke would find happiness without seme to being terrified that without uke, seme wouldn’t be able to go on. C82: RHINOS STOMPING IN MY BELLY IN THIS CHAPTER! In a heart to heart seme almost spills to uke that he was molested by his teacher when he was a kid when seme wants them both to share secrets. When uke refuses seme tries to kiss uke who rejects the kiss and SEME GOES CRAZY WITH UKE’S REJECTION FORCING HIMSELF ON UKE SAYING WHY WON’T UKE LET HIM KISS HIM AND HOW UKE ALWAYS TREATS HIM AS IF HE’S DIRTY. And then seme cries saying sorry… C85: Shameless disgusting father fucked his new girlfriend on his own son’s bed… We find out in C86 that the disgusting whore knew about the camera too and did it on purpose. C91: AWWW FIRST REAL KISS WITH SEME ASKING PERMISSION AND UKE GETTING IVER HIS TRAUMA TO KISS SEME BACK!! C96: Seme finally tells uke that he was molested by his male teacher back in the third grade. Pedophile teacher. C97: Sweet sad moment of uke telling seme it’s not his fault and seme crying his eyes out AWWW… Then possessive seme deleting Chanil’s message to uke to go see some photography exhibition and thinking how he is terrified uke will leave him. C100: SUPER CRAZY POSSESSIVE SEME. Uke finds out seme has deleted all messages from Chanil asking to go to the photography exhibition and seme hitting uke when he sees uke and Chanil being close and acting super Yandere. Uke/SemePOV. Baek Hyunwoon (Cirrus) x Yeon Hanuel (Skylar). Blackmail. Classmates. Young master x normal. Popular x loner. Class toppers. Hate first. Enemies to lovers. Ikemen seme. Super Handsome seme. Red eyes seme. Cool seme. Tall seme (6’0). Gentle seme (fake). Nice guy seme (fake). Popular seme. Super Rich seme. Young master seme. Smart Seme. Yandere seme. Fake personality seme. Strong seme. Bully seme. Sadistic seme (who gets off on uke’s misery caused by him). Seme who likes to play with uke’s feelings for fun and acts all innocent and remorseful (c03,06). Cruel seme who’s just using uke for his own enjoyment (c06). Family problems seme (c07 his father’s mistress/wife (?) (his messed up stepmother who’s much younger than his dad and only using him for his money and not telling any of her friends she’s dating a much older man and single father). Seme in hateful relationship with his stepmother. Past trauma seme (c73-79 being hated by his own father and molested by a male teacher). Shitty father (c85 seme’s father is disgusting fucking his mistress on his own son’s bed to torment him). Megane uke. Sick uke. Loner uke. Antisocial uke. Past trauma uke (c17 seme kissed uke which dredged up a past trauma from middle school when another student kissed him and probably humiliated uke). Slapped seme (c18 uke punches him for going too far and constantly being in his face). Jealous seme (c20 imagining about uke liking being kissed by his crush when he hated being kissed by seme and wondering so good about his friends when hee thinks he’s so much better). Horrible past trauma from bullying (c31+ when uke’s childhood best friend became his horrible bully after uke secretly kissed him while he slept). Insane Jealous seme (c53 when seme goes crazy looking for uke and the friend whom uke has a onesided crush on and going crazy at seeing them happy and murderously pissed off from jealousy thinking why does it have to be him). Very jealous seme (c56 he’s still watching uke and his crush (seme’s friend Chanil) like a hawk and wondering what to do to get rid of Chanil from uke’s side). More extremely jealous seme (c63 seme getting pissed at uke and telling him to stop being so loud in front of class just because a friend was getting close to uke about playing soccer together). Super possessive seme (c64 violently grabbing uke away from a friend who was clinging onto uke). Jealous seme (c65 doesn’t understand why he lost it and flipped when he saw his friend hanging all over uke and possessively grabbing uke pulling him away… boy you in love and you don’t want anyone to touch what’s yours!). Obsessed seme (c66 he’s been obsessed with uke for some time now but now more than ever with him calling uke 23+ times when he said something mean to uke out of jealousy). Implied Masturbating seme (c70 in the shower he recalls kissing uke that one time (c16) and how badly he wanted to touch uke and seme is naked and panting so it’s implied he masturbated and jerked off but they do t show anything to give us a definite yes just heavily implied). Rejected kiss seme (c82). Hurt seme from having his kiss be rejected by uke (c82 seme goes crazy forcing himself on uke and licking his neck and giving uke a possessive hickey (c83). and then crying and apologising). Confession seme (c88 seme offhandedly confessing that he likes uke a lot and then talking about other stuff lol). Uke asking him out after deliberating haha (c88-89). First kiss (c91 real first not forced kiss). Dating (c91+). Possessive boyfriend seme (c97 deleting a message on uke’s phone of Chanil (the guy uke initially had a onesided crush on) to go see something without uke’s knowledge as he’s terrified uke will leave him). Seme is the close friend of uke’s object of his affection, an orange haired seme-type named Seong Chanil who’s nice to sickly Megane uke. Uke who’s in the photography club like a creepy stalker takes pictures of his unrequited love and saves them on his school computer account. Seme finds them and sort of threatens uke with it yet acts so concerned and troubled by uke but by end c03 turns out seme is kinda Yandere and has a double personality than the nice normal class president image as he laughs meanly and calls uke stupid when he’s recalling uke’s tearful crying plea to keep this a secret from his crush as well as everyone.
A Confession of his Own Guilty