beta
It is basically this: the blond MC is not able to be honest about his feelings. There is a lot of shame, guilt and self hate and he thinks he doesn't deserve anyone's love especially not the ML's.
On the other hand the black haird ML can see that, but at the same time is utterly obsessed with the MC. He wants to own and control him, but isn't able to, because he knows it is wrong and if he overstepps MC's boundaries outside of the bedroom he will lose him.
He would rather destroy his mind and body and be hated instead of never seeing him again. So, yeah, buddy is toxic as fudge, but MC loves that... at least in the bedroom.
ML is a psycho yes, but MC is a sociopath, I don't how everyone thinks he is a nice cutiepie. And if he really never had wanted any of the things the ML did to him, the ML would be dead already.
ML is so focused on their body activities because that is the only way to bound (with) MC.