beta
Omg I have so many opinions on this story. First of all I do think the storyline is very good, like the plot and everything, but I do think it is lacking in some ways and that resulted in not enough buildup. When portraying a story that takes place in 2 timelines (in this case even more) its SO important to really take the time to detail everything out. Which I think in this story could’ve been better.
Adding to that point if you chose to do more then one life, and make it a lot of past lives thing there is a amazing chance to showcase each lifeline slowly to show where it happend that Narye all of sudden decided to approach him kindly instead of demanding.
Third thing is the whole calling him Narye after/while doing the deed is somewhat crazy to me. Like what is going thru is head? He is clearly in a euphoric place so why? (And why is Narye 3.0 not suprised by this?)
Lastly the ending felt a bit rushed, I get the whole ‘he is now trying to get better’ ending but it could’ve been played out a little more. I do like the realism that they ended up together and he still has a (little bit milder but still) obsessive character. I mean that would be realistic seeing my man has lived so many lives and 60 years in between all of them.
Okay really last note; its crazy to be that the protagonist didn’t find out it was actually him??