BeatlesLover's Favorite

So. There have been many comments stating that there was nothing wrong with Jeonghan's behavior, that it was perfectly understandable and utterly normal, but *mainly*, also statements that, actually, the people who thought his behavior was unacceptable were simply naïve kids who didn't understand how "real life" works, and (sorry, I feel like I just have to quote this) "probably the fucking 14 yrs olds", because all of the "grown-ups" supposedly know and agree that no one would ever be ok with a distant relative staying at their place because they don't know them, and that the fact that Jeonghan actually "endures" this already makes him commendable, no matter what else he does.
Actually, greensilverscarf has already addressed a large part of the problem (and imho very well). I'd just really like to address another part from my own viewpoint. (And I apologize in advance because this turned out *very* long, so if you're not one for that, please *absolutely* just skip this – I do understand you're here to read manga, not novels ;)

The thing is, I'd just like to ask people to please not generalize like this. If some of you can emphathize with Jeonghan, that's you. Not, as has been implied, "every reasonable grown-up". For my part, I am one of those people who think his behavior is not ok, and not perfectly normal. Sure, it may not be uncommon, but I still consider it very callous, rude and ultimately unacceptable.
Just because you're doing somebody a favor, even if it's a significant one like letting them live at your place, it does not automatically give you a universal “free pass” to be rude, disparaging, and disregard basic rules of common courtesy. At least that's certainly the way *I* was brought up – if you're going to offer help, it should be sincere, and not something where you deliberately, knowingly make a show of how inconvenienced you are and rub it in the other person's face. (If you're *not* actually willing or able to provide help and you're just going to feel resentful, the more reasonable option – for both sides – is probably still to just be honest about it and not offer. And let's remember that in this particular case, Iljo wasn't even *asking* for it to begin with.)

And just to be perfectly clear – yes, I am certainly old enough and in a position to be able to judge this realistically. I've given this some actual serious thought, and personally, I can honestly say that, if – right now (and I mean this) – an albeit distant relative in that sort of dire situation temporarily had no place to stay due to serious family-related circumstances like this, even if I'd had no contact with them until then – if it was someone with such an overall kind, humble and unassuming personality like this, I'd have no problem with letting that person stay at my place. Honestly, if it was this sort of sweet and helpful person, who even went out their way to not inconvenience me in any way and did all the chores around the house, I might actually welcome it, and appreciate the opportunity to get to know each other better.

Now I imagine if said person actually developed one-sided feelings for me, it would be very uncomfortable, for sure. Though I'd probably feel super awkward about it, rather than actually angry. Either way, it certainly wouldn't lead me to feel the need to lay into and "punish" this shy person who'd visibly flinch at my every harsh word and whom I'd know to have only just lost their only close family after a long and traumatic struggle and be very vulnerable at the moment - in fact, I'd probably assume they were confused about having feelings for me precisely due to their current extreme emotional instability, which in turn would make me pretty concerned (and I'm not going to get into this here again, as it's already been well discussed - but I believe an experience like the one Iljo has been through is truly extremely traumatic and absolutely not to be underestimated).

I guess I'd probably try to give them time to regain their bearings and try to arrange an alternative place to stay, such as with another family member, try to get them surrounded by other kind and friendly people, possibly consider suggesting some form of therapy, maybe even just try to set them up with somebody. And I'd probably attempt to try and steer our relationship in a clearly "family-like" or "friendly" direction instead. All in all, Iljo is a real sweetheart with a very kind personality – I'd want to remain in contact with someone like that, even if I did not like them romantically, I would want us to try and maybe eventually be more like family one day, because people like that are actually very rare in real life.
So I'd just like to clarify that some of us actually do understand and value the importance of other things as well, instead of preferring to just be “left alone” and “in peace”. Sure, the latter might be less of a “bother” at times, but to me, it seems like a pretty lonely and cold existence as well.