I hear you, but - in his own way - the ML was just as insensitive. I mean he knew that having kids was a big deal for a woman. That's why he'd never gotten deeply involved with one. He knew that Claire loved kids and would likely want a kid of her own once she found her chosen partner, that's why he didn't want to get involved with her specifically, and yet knowing that, he still decides he wants to marry her.
You say he shouldn't have to talk about options until he's mentally ready, but he's talking about marriage! This isn't a discussion that can wait till after the vows. Therefore, knowing Claire as he did, he should have already been thinking this was something they would have to resolve before hand, but he's already set up a no compromise mentality. To prove you love me for me, give up your life long dream of having your own child right now. No discussion. That's it. If you don't, you don't love me. Where is his understanding of her point of view in this?
I'm not saying its not a difficult topic, but marriage is a two person deal, and he was was caught in a very self centered loop. As soon as he started thinking marriage, his thinking should have expanded to at least consider her desires. He didn't.
They were kinda insensitive. If I told someone I cant have children and they replied that there are other solutions, I would punch them into next week. They basically told my guy to get over it. Adopt or let your wife get pregnant by another man. I mean he has the right to be upset and not want to talk about those options until he mentally ready. Beacue, at the end of the day, he still can't have kids biologically.