TT_TT

i teared up bad at the separation between mc and her husband, along with all those cute little memories between them :(( the mc had such a good life going for her and now has to endure so much shit for literally nothing
fu shen xing has the looks to be a good male love interest and there were like 1 or 2 moments between him and mc that were cute but he's done too much to even be considered..
read spoilers from a forum as well as comments, it's really way too sad TT_TT here's a little snippet (i got it from novelupdates forum, credits do not go to me) that hit me hard if u want it:
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At the end, Fu Shen Xing fell deeply in love with the mc but it was too late. He left her a letter before killing himself, and it's so sad but some of you guys might find delight in it haha; I corrected some of the grammar since it was a bit broken but still understandable in the forum I got it from. Should be like 95% accurate:
Dear Yan Yan, (The MC)
When I was writing this letter, you were sleeping soundly next to me and as you are reading this, I wonder where my dirty body has gone. It's amazing, isn't it? After a year, we've finally met again, going through so many things together... I'm writing this letter while greedily observing your face.
Yan Yan, I am still vile but at the same time I have become more vulnerable than before.
Although I had the chance to meet you after a year, I didn't have the courage to ask whether the baby (his and MC's child) was fine or not. I cowardly wished every minute that the baby was lying next to you and I even comfort myself that everything will be alright if the baby can't be with you, at least he (she) can be with me.
The baby which I had used my life to exchange, does (I will presume the the baby is a boy) he resemble me?
I thought I was very good at literature but when I started writing, I didn't even know what to write. It was me who dragged an angel like you into hell but now my heart is shaken by you; pretty funny, right?
But did you know that I had done a more ridiculous thing than that? Hiding in the dark room, looking out like a thief, watching your daily life with your husband, seeing you and your husband sitting at either corner of the sofa, doing whatever you like. Sometimes you smiled, sometimes you cried, sometimes you even kicked your husband and told him to get you some water.
Every time you did that, my heart went crazy because of jealousy. But sadly, I couldn't change anything, I just wished I could take that man's position and imagined being your husband. If only that was real...
It wasn't your husband, it was me, it was me who sat beside you, it was me whom you laughed with, you were angry at me, it was me who you spread your leg to kick.
But sadly, it wasn't me and I couldn't be as good as your husband.
I will never tell you to sit far away from me but rather want you to sit next to me, eventually snuggled up against my body and when you smile at me, I will definitely kiss you. If you ever make me mad, I swear to god that I will not raise my voice against you. Will I go and get some water for you? Of course, but I will make other requests of you as well.
"Yan Yan, cook dinner for me, I'm hungry."
I seem like a psycho, right?
Yan Yan, you are right, everything related to us is wrong. Meeting each other is wrong, being with each other is wrong, everything is wrong. At this moment, I just hope that I could end all of this in a right way.
Yan Yan, I'm sorry for everything I have done to you.
Yan Yan, I'm willing to risk my life to end all my faults, to return your peaceful life.
Yan Yan, Yan Yan, Yan Yan, Yan Yan, Yan Yan. I call your name again and again hoping that you can remember me just a little more and help me on my way to hell.
Yan Yan, did you know?
I wonder how things would have turned out had we not started out so terribly that fateful night.