Well his courting is really in full-on camo, so at this point I say the FL needs to be happy to breathe beside him. Won't get better than that.
That's what I'm afraid of, and that is not a recipe for a sucessful marriage. But I do know men can change when they realize there is a need. The question is will he realize there is a need before its too late. Their support team may make the difference.
Oh I do believe that men can change (or at least, I choose hope) but there's men out there that can be hit with revelations in the fashion of 4x4 and they will still say "I still don't see the problem?"
And that's on generational myopia. As well as chronic emotional constipation. And sometimes, this one-sided labor is what drags down relationships.
Sometimes its rather hard to say what your partner really needs. Sometimes the answer is: a shrink.
This particular fictional male might just need to take one good hard look at the difference between his intentions and his actual expressions.
Agreed, but I can't lump all men/people under general labels because I know there are many who take their marriages seriously and if they need to change (or seek professional help) to save it, they will. But sometimes it does take that proverbial 4x4 to wake them up. Unfortunately, we can't lay all the blame on the guy. Gals are quite complex. The guy can be bending over backwards to show how much he loves his lady, but if he's not doing it right she might not pick up on it. I love Gary Smalleys book Love Languages - it talks about the different ways people feel acknowledged and appreciated. For some its words, others its gifts, still others its actions... think there are 5 or 6 love languages. I would put this book on our 'particular fictional male's reading list. It might open his eyes to the fact his words/actions say something and he needs to be speaking a little more deliberately and 'loudly'.
Its an old boot, but communication is key - if you don't say what you want, given that the other party is by no means obligated to read minds, you won't get it. But self-awareness is the lock. If you yourself aren't aware that "bringing you a cup of tea means affection" is your own love language, chances are the other person won't notice ^^
Absolutely. That's why they encourage couples to do 'Love language' workshops TOGETHER! Reading the book can be eye opening to someone who is ignorant of the concept, but it works even better if they do it together because its likely they don't 'speak the same language' so may not even recognize when they are showing/ being shown love.
We actually do see that in many Harlequins - "But I bought you a big house and dresses and jewels..." "But you never said 'I love you'."
Yep. You nailed it. Lack of communication is one of my least favorite Harlequin plot devices.
... or did it seem just a little odd that up until a minute before he purposed, she was convinced he was marrying someone else? Not to say it can't work, but I hope he gets a little more proficient at courting his bride.
A big complaint many women have is once the guy succeeds in getting a wedding band on his gal, he doesn't feel the need to romance her anymore. so if he scales down from nothing.... I'm just a little worried for them. Glad they have a support team.