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I will say that while for the most part you are right we have to remember that everyones panic attacks are different. My 8 yearold has to be reminded to calm down and to breath when he has one or he will spiral. Its also all in the way someone tells you to calm down. If its in a caring way with a soft gental voice then it can help but if its in a verbal eye roll type of voice then that can cause a person to expolde in rage.
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While I'm learning from your comment, I also have to point out one thing. I don't think many people actually mean it when they say "Calm down" to a person who is having a panic attack. It most likely a reflex. Many of us don't really encounter this situation daily, and we sometimes need training to say, react to certain things. If I accidentally come across a someone like the uke before this comment, all I know would be try to sooth them and probably say "Calm down", because that's all I know .
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I think it has a different connotation in the orginal japanese probably? I dont know but it might have been a factor. having to hear "calm down" while being stressed would make me more frustrated but if you think about it, it depends on the tone and context, it could imply something like "breathe". sorry im not good with words but what im trying to say is there's probably a japanese equivalent to a more "calming" phrase to "calm down" but it's hard to find an equivalent in English for the phrase/word used.
for this, I'd appreciate it if someone can actually tell the exact phrase used
Never tell a person who is having a panic attack to "Calm down". Just please don't. We know that we need to calm down. Talk about something random, or show us pictures or ask us to breathe with you. That is what helps. Telling someone to calm down might come across as offensive. Not everyone will think that but there is enough people that do, so just don't. Ok?