What do you mean ?
Still your mother like what the hell does he mean
maybe he doesn’t consider her his mother which i wouldn’t blame him for. someone who leaves their kids for dead and comes back acting like nothing happened is not a mother. in my opinion
thats really the worst thing you can say to someone with family problems ik he isnt real but ppl say that a lot irl and it does NOT help
Fr
It's that old general curse line to keep u in toxic family no matter how much they break u
"Like nothing happened"... was she given the chance to even have a full discussion on the mater?
If u died starving on the street would u still give that person ur time?? Thank god his talent saved him and his blessed life
she could have looked for him far sooner as she did say she has come to korea many times already, even now she didn’t really try talking to her own son until recently. she knew where he was and how known he was but didn’t even reach out until now. so yes, she was given many chances but only took this one.
I hear you. But then what? The Statu Quo ain't solving any existing trauma. I see that he is upset that she never attempted to reach out to him, but when she tries, he is even more upset. You don't see the paradox?
> You are mad at someone for never reaching out to you.
> That person is anxious about finding a good time to reach out to you, knowing you might resent them.
> You are mad at that someone when they attempt to reach out to you. Wish she never attempt but still resent her for never attempting?
"Until now". She is doing it at least. Better now than never. "She was given many chances", by who? You don't think that she might have reasons for not doing it before? It took her courage for the ML to try meeting someone he truly despises and her, courage to meet someone that might very well deeply resent her. Furthermore, her mother was abused, she had her fair share of pain to overcome. Life is not black and white.
I am not invalidating the ML's feelings, but I will be the adult in the room. If they both don't sit together to talk it through, have a full discussion like grown-ups, this never ending cycle of hatred and pain will keep hurting them until their death. ML needs to hear her out, to void the assumptions he made throughout the year about her and her reasons for leaving him. And she, the mother, has to listen what her actions caused to his son.
Being 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, 20 years... Anytime is better than never. Living with hatred your whole life is "EXHAUSTING". Hating someone takes "effort" from you. And this Exhaustion is fueling the ML's instability. I am not asking the ML to love his mother, but asking him to hear her out for his own good, so it can finally turn this page of his life.
And I said the "chance to have a FULL discussion". So far, she wasn't. Just because you could meet someone, doesn't mean they will willingly sit with you to have a full discussion.
he doesn’t have to give her a chance either just so you know, she doesn’t have any right to talk to him after abandoning him as a child and after knowing he’s okay after years of being in korea, so she’s still in the wrong here.
She has every right to talk to him; she is not on restraining order, she just cannot force him to listen to her. He has to give her a chance for a reason: he is hurting and avoiding her ain't solving shit. And I dislike the dichotomy "that people are mad for her never approaching him but are even madder when she does". I am glad that you remember she was aware that he was okay. And if she is in the wrong, then what? You are not helping the situation with this mindset. Avoiding the problem does not solve the problem.
It is so easy to blame the whole universe on people who you know nothing about. Because you don't have to see them as "humans with their own story". What do you know about the mother? Why do you know about victims of domestic violence? What do you know about what she had to go through? What do you know about what it took her so long to reach out the ML? Why did he leave behind? And it is even easier for the brain to twist reality to the point of self-harm, because one seeks those answers, ones ASSUME them - "if you believe them hard enough, they might become your reality". The ML does not understand his mother and his brain created "her", more than his living mother, it is the one living inside his mind, torturing him, that he resents the most.
If you were able to understand half of what I previously wrote, you will see that having a full discussion with her is one of the FIRST steps to take to alleviate his trauma. His PTSD and fear of abandonnement are not going anywhere until he confronts their roots.
The goal is not to forgive his mother or to love her, the goal is for him to finally find a closure, to get the real answers, not the ones he created. "It's not even about forcing connection, but healing a wound. You cannot fully cure certain trauma if you do not go back to their root. His abandonment issue started there. He does not have to love his mother if he does not want to, but he has to confront her and hear her out, so it can find peace in his heart." And the mother too has to hear him out; she HAS to know what her decisions caused him.
The Statu Quo is not helping anyone - the ML, nor the mother, nor even the MC. A route of conflicts resolution is where dwells the drama. The ML might need more time to ready himself and that is fully normal. I don't expect him to open to her on day one, but thinking that not meeting her at all will do him any good in the LONG-term is misguided.
「Avoiding the elephant in the room won't make it disappear. Living with the elephant can leave little space for other aspects of your life. It might take time and a lot of courage to confront it, but blaming the elephant for being there won't change anything. Only by taking proper actions to make it leave. When the elephant is gone, you'll truly feel like you have full control of your life.」— Gravenshi, The Art of Life.
he’s not avoiding the problem, he just knows he’s not okay right now and talking to his mother won’t solve anything, and will make him get worse, and oh look he was right! people are allowed to have their own boundaries and not give anymore chances to people who have already messed up. your mindset is toxic. people who have been wronged do not have to hear that person out, they don’t have any right. especially, his mother.
It is like talking to a wall.
She don't have the right to talk to him morally !if she is the reason his hurting then he needs to work on himself not on her !,it make sense ppl r mad cuz she abandoned him and when she did she showed no remorse in the both present and past ,cutting off toxic ppl solves problem while u work on forgiving them and ur self as well letting it all go
Her own story had negative empact on those around her , then she got no right to be around them so they can work on THIER OWN STORY , just cuz u bleeded don't mean u can go around making a blood bath for those around u , so yeah she was and shitty relationship! So now u expect him to suck it up for her OWN STORY CUZ SHE MATTER MORE TF
U should look in the mirror
Was I talking to you? No. I am aware that reading skills is not everyone's forte on this website, but I would appreciate if you do not put words in my mouth to fuel your anger, especially when I am purposely ignoring your deranged outbursts - it is creeping me out.
Still your mother the hell