eunyung’s feelings of guilt and shame when his parents are called out for their violence...

eunyung’s feelings of guilt and shame when his parents are called out for their violence… the way a victim of abuse can often feel as though they’re at fault, even when completely innocent (a child), knowing that there was a time when their parents treated them kindly. after being abused for so long it can seriously mess with your brain and skew your sense of judgment and perspective of reality—even if those moments of joy were mere droplets in the middle of a sea of physical and emotional torture, it’s horrifying to think that maybe you were simply overreacting. maybe it wasn’t bad, because even if it was excruciatingly painful, there were still a few times you felt okay. the signs of abuse are clear as day, and while eunyung knows better than anyone that he’s a victim of abuse, years upon years of being broken down and chipped away at created a sense of uncertainty in everything he does. subconsciously, he became unable to truly believe anything he thought, because for years he was conditioned to believe that his thoughts had no value. he’s so fragile that even if he acts rash and scrambles to prove to others that he’s worthy—of fear, respect, love—not even he can trust himself. all of those actions become empty because underneath his veil of confidence and self-righteousness, he has nothing. he has no faith in himself. it was taken away from him