I hear you. But all the guys are kinda messed up... and she treats them mostly the same. Like even though she started to develop feelings for the Prince she was still terrified of him so was unwilling to commit. All of the relationships are dependent on her but I don't think she realises that yet.
But yeah... both families have severely messed up her mental health. Although confronting, I'm glad this author is showing physical aspects of her health... not just the stereotypical "i want revenge/I'm supposedly depressed but my character is super bubbly until I have nightmares" etc. Like yes mental health doesn't always show physically but I'm just glad that this author is showing the side which is not looking after yourself and looking ill.. and not just a little skinny/"oh you've lost some weight we need to feed you" but full on severe levels.
The men srsly need therapy for real, not yvvone and totes not pen. I just meant that with eckles, it was very staged and detached, no ounce of her self. So their interactions felt so off for me. I dont like the penelope when interacting with eckles. Unlike with other mls where she showed her raw expression and self when interacting with them, so the connection (good or bad) is more real and organic. So the author/artist being able to convey that intended, feeling is just bravo to them!
And yea, i think which is why penelope felt so real to us cos we have these reoccurring episodes where we are reminded of her vulnerability and pain and suffering when we think that everything is alright. I really cried everytime she is confronted with either penelope’s reality of abuse or og self realizing that she already lost herself because of them.
I love penelope, listen i cry for her and honestly want to remove her away from her family everytime she isreality slapped how horrible they are to her (esp derrick) but i also kinda blamed her for eckles turning psycho. Cos idk if the 100% aim she needed was romantic with the mls or if its any relationship as long as its 100% , cos she groomed (not that kind of grooming okay) eckles to be so dependent, obsessed, attention starved and basically a submissive slave since day one, i can see it a mile away that hed turned out bad. Also the fact that she didnt bother learning his true thoughts, and just focused in raising his affection, and wasnt able to learn his true intentions even though he is the most damaged out of the mls is kinda the fault here. Cos then shed realise that this dude is crazy. Unlike her being able to learn the mls side outside the game narrative, she didnt attempt to learn about eckles side. I know she is focused on surviving and has no time to play therapist for these boys, but she wants him to be the end game no? Im just kinda sad for eckles that out of all the mls, he only has the dog treatment (basically waiting at her beck and call and the relationship is dicdated by her) and wasnt able to really form a connection outside of her need to increase his affection which most likely further descent him to craziness. Also because out of all the ml interactions, it feels like with eckels whom she wants tobe the endgame, felt more forced, inorganic and the power imbalance is not even, which probably make sense since she is on a mission stat, BUT its easy to tell that that kind of relationship also ends in death ya know.
Also because, I really really really feel like winter verdandi is more suited to be her #1 choice than eckles. Here me out. Dude has all the green flag traits from the get go. Hes good with children, helps damsels in distresses, a noble who was loved so he grew up with no emotional turmoils (i think), doesnt points his sword to trespassers even in bad mood (unlike someone) and his mascot is smol animals, like girl did u get blinded by the red in hard mode or what? Anyways imo only