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It's a little complicated but basically, over a very very long time they can become weakened and lose the ability to heal their kotodama master, so they kinda fade out (Asari); or, they can become so wounded that the damage can't be repaired (which is why they turn to paper if their throat is cut- http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/ze/an/ze-chapter-29.html/26/) Other than that, crying is also a sign the kami is turning into paper. A kami only cries before it turns back to hakushi (t http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/ze/an/ze-chapter-17.html/31/).
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Yeah, that confused me a bit too. I understood it to be that when kamis turn to paper is the only time they cry, but not that the act of crying itself turns them to paper. I know Waki turns them into paper by slicing their necks with a sword (I think it's a katana?), which is also how Moriya was going to turn himself when Ryuusei refused to be his kotodama master, and there's no crying involved.
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I don't think the act of crying turns them into paper. That wouldn't make sense because that'd imply they can cry whenever, so wouldn't they always try never to cry (so what would be the cause of failing)? It's just like you first said, they normally can't cry; the only time they do is if they age out and turn into paper I suppose.
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To my understanding they not only cry when they age out, but that cry when they are in the act of dying itself. Like a symptom or something. Asari didn't notice he was dying until he noticed he was crying and Himi started crying when his core was destroyed. But Morita didn't cry because he wasn't actually dying. He wasn't old and his core was intact, he wasn't in a position of unavoidable death. He was a healthy Kami in front of a katana.
Can someone remind me, what causes them to turn back into paper dolls (what's the catalyst)?