recos

U already prolly read it but, 'Painter of the Night.'

https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hua_hua_you_long/
Ummm ... My suggestion ...don't read it , but umm... (￣∇￣")
There's a complete novel too

I read the novel n feel u completely, there are really no words to describe it!

Never hated a character more in my whole goddam life of reading fiction , than this one ..... Read the novel when I was a teen and I'm still angry to this day
(●￣(ｴ)￣●)

Same feelings honestly, I really really didn't know what to feel about it n the fact that it got popular to the point of getting a manga adaptation!

would you mind giving some spoilers (⊙…⊙ )

The seme is very very abusive like you know one side we have those r*pe scenes where authors still try to mask the rape as like something consented, but don't expect that from this one, especially for their first time bcz there's literal gore out there, I only read the novel and yes it is explicit enough for u to imagine things completely.
There's also one really absolutely disturbing scene in the novel where the uke is so depressed that he scratches the skin of his chest where his heart is to commit suicide n he actually scratches to the extent of being able to reach his heart! One more scratch n he was dead.
Also the seme kicked the uke bcz the uke was framed of something he didn't do, n the uke becomes impotent for a while and he kind of is able to escape the seme but the seme finds him again and their meeting is in no terms normal, fuck the smem's absolutely twisted!!

It's not really a sad ending though as the seme does start to treasure the uke but I don't really know how to feel about it bcz I kind of wished they didn't end up together bcz like the seme doesn't suffer at all! But I've read another one (a modern psychological bl) which well exceeds the trauma in this one, so I'll say if you aren't easily triggered u could give this a go, it's not really a bad read

really? anw. thank you guyss!!