I'm here to educate

He's a god and a middle school philosophy teacher to boot.
Transcendent being bestow knowledge.

You young people couldn't be let free, someone has to restrain.

I'm embarrassed for you so I'm here to educate.

You're my brothers and sisters so you can't be weak.

Accidentally got myself into this shit but while I'm at it, I'll fake it till I make it.

Since y'all degenerate after over 6k years, I'll raise someone useful so I build my God-killing army.

I regretted then, now I won't. So you won't too.

I can't go Pro, so I became the coach.

After all you babies need to grow by yourself, but your dad is here to see you try walking by yourself. If you fall, I'll catch you.
It's actually my least favourite of all in this list.