looks like this is the authors first project. it’s a bit cliche, but it’s cute for a first work!
i see lots of potential, but i don’t like how every female character besides the main girl is slutshamed and has no character besides ‘stealing’ the mcs man. the plot, setting, and transitions between scenes are very abrupt and has minimal cohesion, bc a scene will end and i’m scratching my head like…weren’t you just at school? how are you at a club? or weren’t you just giving him a tour? did it end once you saw your fiancée? just small things like that.
i see lots of potential, but i don’t like how every female character besides the main girl is slutshamed and has no character besides ‘stealing’ the mcs man. the plot, setting, and transitions between scenes are very abrupt and has minimal cohesion, bc a scene will end and i’m scratching my head like…weren’t you just at school? how are you at a club? or weren’t you just giving him a tour? did it end once you saw your fiancée? just small things like that.